


Possible Serum Side Effects May Include...

by Jeniouis



Series: Sam Wilson Centric Fics [3]
Category: Avengers (2012), Captain America (Marvel Movies), Iron Man (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And Fury is their dad because head canon., Crack, Fluff and Crack, Granddad Nick Fury, M/M, Mpreg, Mpreg Sam, Sam and Rhodey are brothers because that's my head canon!, Sam-Centric, The Avengers Are Family, The serum did that, Work In Progress, and Sam is freaking out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:32:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2172918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeniouis/pseuds/Jeniouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No you're not getting it. So chicks have this thing called a vagina and babies pop out of there. Guys have dicks and there's no way a baby could squeeze through there." Sam said, glaring at Bruce who rolled his eyes.</p><p>Or the one where no one told Steve his serum laden sperm could knock-up a guy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sam said, staring at Bruce in disbelief. He had just been feeling a little sick lately, waking up in the morning and having to rush to the bathroom to hug the toilet...And he has been hungrier lately...And he has been putting on a few pounds... But still, there was no way he was fucking pregnant! Sam was a man. All man so how the fuck could that be.

"I tested your blood three times and that's what came up." Bruce said, sounding way to goddamn chilled for Sam's liking. It was as if he didn't just tell Sam (who was still a guy) he was twelve weeks pregnant.

"No you're not getting it. So chicks have this thing called a vagina and babies pop out of there. Guys have dicks and there's no way a baby could squeeze through there." Sam said, glaring at Bruce who rolled his eyes. "How did you pass through medical school?"

Bruce rolled his eyes again, leaning back in his chair, "I'm not that type of doctor."

Sam threw his hands up, "Well then, there you go. You obviously have no idea what your doing so I'm going to find a professional." Sam said as he stood.

"I do know what I'm doing and just in case I'm correct, do you really want someone outside our family to know." Bruce said with a quirked eyebrow. Sam was just about to shrug him off but he froze at that. But really he didn't want his family to know either. He was knew to the Avengers team and though he was accepted easily, he didn't know how they would take a sudden, unexplained male pregnancy. Bruce was handling it insanely well but that doesn't mean the rest will. Not to mention how Steve would react. Not that Sam believed this mumbo jumbo anyway. Sam sighed and sat back down. "If you want to know for sure, I can do an ultrasound." Bruce suggested. Sam was quiet as he thought about that for a long time. He wasn't sure he wanted to know because if he saw a forming being on that screen it would mean that he is pregnant. Then again, in a few months the baby would show itself anyway, wouldn't it?... Now that he's thinking about it, what the hell would Sam do with a baby.

"Yes-No-Um, I...I-I do-on't. I don't want an ultrasound." Sam said finally. Bruce nodded understandably.

"Are you sure?" Bruce asked and Sam nodded shakily.

"Yeah, if this is all true then I want Steve there when I do the ultrasound." Sam said before he really thought about what he just said. Steve could just abandon him. Who would want a pregnant boyfriend. If Sam was pregnant, that is.

Then again, it would be Steve's baby. Sam guessed because that's the only person who had been a screwing him unless someone had experimented on Sam without him knowing and knocked him up. Again, if Sam was indeed pregnant which he most certainly was not.

"That sounds like a good plan. When are you going to tell him?" Bruce asked and Sam shrugged.

"When it stops sounding ridiculous." Sam said as he ran a hand down his face. Bruce sighed.

"Don't think of this as a bad thing." Bruce said and Sam almost laughed because Bruce couldn't have been serious. Sam looked at Bruce, searching his face. The man was absolutely serious. Sam proceeded to glare at him in disbelief. "What? You know how much Steve would love to have a child and maybe now you two can have a family." Sam hadn't thought about that. Who would have had they been in his situation. Sam nodded as he rose to his feet.

"Well thanks Bruce, you've been a huge help." Sam said, mostly an automatic response because his mind was somewhere else entirely.

"Where are you going?" Bruce asked as Sam walked towards the lab doors.

"To think." Sam answered because God, he had a lot of that to do.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sam got to his and Steve's floor, the first thing he did was go to the fridge. He was hungry. Who cares that he was hungry an hour ago when he ate ten tacos alone at Taco Bell...and a burrito. But Sam was not pregnant. There was no fucking way.

Sam snatched a tub of ice cream from the freezer. It was a new flavor: Chocolate Raspberry Dream. And Sam intended to eat the whole damn tub too. Not because he was pregnant, he was just hungry and he had been craving this ice cream all damn day.

Sam pried the lid off and grabbed a spoon. The first bite of the frozen treat made his toes curl, damn it was so good. Sam walked into the bedroom, swallowing spoonfuls of ice cream the whole time. He sat the tub on the table and stood in front of the mirror, raising his shirt. There, in the middle of his stomach was a little bump where his abs should have been. Sam sighed, forcing himself to not panic. That didn't mean anything. Sam just figured he had put on a few pounds. He has been eating a lot lately. Sam contracted his abdomen to make it seem flatter than what it really was. That didn't help at all, it just made the bump more prominent.

Sam sighed in exasperation. He was going to just storm out and down his ice cream but the longer he looked at the little bump, the more he felt...something. Sam wasn't even sure what it was but dare he say he was starting to feel proud. Sam put his hand on the bump and smiled a little and for a moment it seemed like everything could be okay.

But of course Steve chose that exact moment to waltz onto their floor. Sam heard him call out, asking if he was home. Sam started freaking out and panicking all over again. He did answer though, saying he was in the bedroom. Steve strolled in right after, giving him a curious look.

"You got a stomach ache?" Steve asked as he walked up to Sam and kissed him. Sam shook his head.

"Umm, we need to talk." Sam said. Steve's expression immediately turned into concern as he searched Sam's face.

"Yeah babe, what's wrong." Steve asked. Sam sighed and started pacing. How was he supposed to say this? Would Steve even believe this?

"I uh...Bruce got my tests back today." Sam started and Steve's face nearly crumbled.

"Are you alright? You're not sick are you? You know I'll be there for you and will support you." Steve said and damn, he sounded so sincere.

"Through absolutely anything?" Sam asked shyly. He still wasn't sure he believed this whole pregnancy conspiracy Bruce was trying to wrap him in but if by the far off chance it was true, he would certainly need Steve.

"Yeah babe, most certainly. Through anything." Steve promised as he wrapped his arms around Sam's waist. Steve just sounded so honest. He had no idea what he was signing up for.

"You have to promise that you'll believe me because I'm not making anything up and Bruce can tell you what he told me if you want it verified." Sam said, more stalling than anything but Steve nodded fervently.

"Of course I'll believe you. I promise." Steve said sincerely. Sam sighed one again and nodded.

"Okay thank you. Um, Bruce said that I..." Sam trailed off and looked at Steve who was looking back at him with so much worry. "He said I'm pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update and that this chapter is so short. I have to get back in the swing of writing this.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it. :) :D

Steve just looked at him expectantly. Sam waited for a moment. Maybe Steve was just in shock…or maybe he hadn’t heard him.

“Steve, I said I’m pregnant.” Sam repeated shyly. Steve nodded.

“That’s it?” Steve said. Sam gave him the wildest look.

“What do you mean is that it? Steve, I have a human being growing in my stomach!” Sam nearly shouted. Steve sighed in relief, hugging Sam.

“Darling, I thought you were dying or something. This I can handle. Oh my God, I can’t believe we’re going to be parents!” Steve said excited, hugging Sam tightly and lovingly.

Sam was stunned in to silence. Then he remembered that Steve was from the forties and he as a virgin when they started…it was a long shot but may he just didn’t know how things were _supposed_ to go. Sam took his hand, wishing he would wipe that giddy and happy face off Steve, and led him to the bed, and they sat down.

“Steve, has anyone ever given you the birds and bees talk?” Sam asked gently. Steve gave him a look, as if _Sam_ were the crazy one.

“Of course, Sam. I know perfectly well that men don’t usually get pregnant that this is a little…unconventional, but just think, we wanted kids and now we can have them.” Steve said. Sam glared at him.

“I AM PREGNANT!” Sam yelled. Why couldn’t anyone get the depth of this? “And it’s not that men don’t _usually_ get pregnant. Men just don’t get pregnant. Men don’t have babies, Steve! This is fucked up. Where is this fucking kid going to come out? What the **hell** is going on?” Sam ranted until Steve hugged him, whispering comforts in his ear.

“It’ll be alright Sam. I swear. We’ll get through this together. I promise, okay? Bruce will help us figure everything out too.” Steve said, rubbing Sam’s back in comfort. Sam sighed sharply. Apparently he’s been sleeping with a mad man and didn’t even know it.

“No, no, I refuse to believe this. Did you know Bruce isn’t even a real doctor?” Sam said. Steve’s brow furrowed. “Exactly. So tomorrow, I’m going to go speak with a professional, real doctor at medical tomorrow and figure out what’s really wrong with me.” Sam said, rising to his feet and walking towards the door, towards the kitchen. For some reason, he was hungry again. He heard Steve mumble ‘must be the hormones’ under his breath.

“I am not hormonal.” Sam yelled over his shoulder, stomping to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and smelled the left over Chinese from last night. It smelled delicious and Sam was going to reheat it but he got a sudden rolling in his stomach and he ended up bending over the garbage can, throwing up. He heard the water start running and soon felt a cool, wet towel touch is forehead, and someone rubbing his back.

“Oh sure, you’re not pregnant. You’re not knocked up at all.” Sam heard Steve mumbling. Sam wanted to say something but he felt another wave of sickness run through him. And soon, all he could hope was that the news Bruce gave him wasn’t true.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a looooooooooong time since I've updated but I'm serious, none of my works are abandoned. They just might take a while to get updated.
> 
> But I do apologise for taking so long to update. I'll try to keep from taking 2 years to update again.
> 
> Also, a lot has happened in the MCU since the last update so I've added some characters: Rhodey, Bucky, Loki, and Fury. They all end in an ee sound.
> 
> Also, my head canon dictates that Rhodey and Sam are Fury's son's so they're brothers.

As much as he truly hated to do this, Sam called a family meeting. He was hoping someone in this group would have enough damn sense to try to figure out what's really wrong with him.

Nat would probably be the most sensible. And her scary ass telling Bruce to cease and desist this little pregnancy nonsense would go a lot further than Sam trying to do it.

-

So there they sat, in the communal living room. Steve was sitting in the couch, sandwiched between Thor and Tony, brimming with pride and mirth. He's been insufferable this past week. With his excitement, and planning, and trying to take care of Sam whenever he got sick and always telling him to think of the baby.

Clint was perched on the back of the couch, his legs on either side if Tony. Nat was sitting in Bruce's lap in the loveseat because they were dating and just didn't know it yet. Rhodey was standing behind the couch, seeming very uninterested. Because he's an asshole.

"Alright guys, I called this meeting because our dear Bruce has lost his mind." Sam announced.

Bruce rolled his eyes so hard, they almost feel out. Steve huffed, obviously displeased with how Sam started this meeting.

Tony said, "I know birdbrain didn't interrupt my work to tell me what I already know."

"He's pregnant." Steve blurted.

Sam glared at the blonde as intensely as he could. Everyone else turned around and looked at Steve, in bewilderment. Then they turned around and looked at Bruce.

"B-Bruce?" Nat said, somewhere between disbelieving and astonishment.

"No." Bruce said calmly, "Sam is pregnant. That's why he's always getting sick these days and why he has been having random mood swings and eating everything in sight. I tested him last week. He's about three months pregnant."

Everyone turned to Sam, and just stared at him.

Sam started, "See, this is the sh—"

"What good news!" Thor....thundered in excitement, throwing his hands up as if this were some goddamn celebration!

Thor got up and rushed over to Sam, dropping to a knee and raising Sam's shirt, rubbing his belly.

"Yeah, he's showing!" Steve said, following Thor. They both put a hand on Sam's stomach and fucking squealed in delight.

Sam didn't even stop them, he couldn't. Because they couldn't be fucking serious!

Tony had covered his face as if he couldn't believe this was happening but then he ran his hands through his hair and fuck...was...was he smiling? It's was like a shocked, bewildered smile but a fucking smile nonetheless!

"Wow, would have never guessed that. It's fucking strange but man, congratulations. I guess I'll be an uncle soon enough!" Tony said.

"Oh and the kids will have someone to play with!" Clint added.

Sam looked over at Nat for salvation. He knew she would be sensible. She had to be. She was his last hope.

She wasn't even looking at what was going on. See was talking to Bruce.

"Oh my God, we're going to have to baby proof the entire tower. Do you know how many knives I have hidden all over the place."

Sam damn near cried. And it wasn't tears of joy either. Because this was a trick. This was a prank and they were all in on it, taping his reaction so they could laugh at it later.

But then a loud thud made everyone look behind the couch, where the noise came from.

Rhodey was no longer standing there. He wasn't standing anywhere. He was knocked out, lying on the floor.

Sam pointed at his limp body "That's how you fucking respond to a pregnant man! You don't get excited. You fucking faint!"

They group looked at Sam in shock.

Thor tapped Steve's shoulder, they were still kneeling, fawning over Sam's fat, because it damn sure wasn't a baby.

"It's the hormones." Thor said. Everyone O'd as if that explained everything.

Sam glared at Bruce. "You said we could do an ultrasound if I don't believe you. Come on, let's do it. I guarantee you it's a tumor."

Steve shot to his feet, "Sam, don't call the baby a tumor!" Sam glared at him.

Thor stood up too. "Steve, he doesn't mean it. It's just the hormones."

Before Sam could wrap his hands around Thor's neck (which would probably tickle him more than anything), Bruce stood up.

"Actually, that's a good idea. The whole family's here and we can all see the ultrasound." Bruce said.

Everyone agreed so Sam did too. He was tired of arguing with them, they would just have to see for themselves.

"Alright, fine. Don't forget to drag Rhodey's ass with us." Sam said, before he lead the way.


	5. Chapter 5

"Sam, males of all sorts of species, all over the Galaxy, are responsible for childrearing. You are making a big deal out of nothing." Thor said. The idiot. The goddamn idiot.

Sam was rubbing the sides of his head, wishing Bruce would get that fucking machine out here so everyone can snap out of their psychosis.

"I'm happy the Galaxy is progressive but here on Earth, men don't do those sort of things." Sam said as calmly as he could. If he got any angrier he was going to pop a vein.

Steve was rubbing his back, holding him close.

"Well maybe now they do." Steve said.

What the fuckedy flibbertigibbet kind of response was that!

"That's not how...ugh!" Sam groaned, he couldn't even bring himself to try and answer that shit!

And then he...he fucking...Sam fucking started crying...out of shitwhere.

Sam was never one to cry easily. Not because he was a manly man. But because not a lot of things got to him. Not enough to justify a tear. Nevertheless, several of them.

So he was frozen with shocked that this was even happening. But he couldn't stop himself. He just grabbed Steve and bawled in his chest.

Steve hugged him and Thor hugged the both of them, because of course he did. But Sam couldn't even bring himself to care. He liked the security he felt from being sandwiched between two incredibly strong men. Like, nothing in the world could happen to him as long as he stayed right there.

And he was just about to calm down when Thor had to break the moment with, "It's alright Sam. You'll feel better in six months when your hormones are straightened out."

Sam has never went from zero to one hundred so quickly in his life. He released Steve and started slapping at Thor. The god didn't even try to stop him, just raised his hands in surrender, yelling, "I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have said that. The sun's getting real low!"

The rest of the team was standing back, staring at the unfolding scene dumbfoundedly. While a conscious Rhodey paced as if he we're slowly losing his grip on reality. As if he had the right. It was Sam who should be losing his mind.

"Is this what the next six months is going to be like?" Tony asked.

Clint nodded. "Yep. I mean Laura was only this hormonal with our first one but this shit is definitely going to stick."

Sam stopped abusing Thor and glared at Clint but Steve, who had stood back while Sam worked out his frustrations on the god of thunder, captured Sam in a bear hug again and Thor followed suit, as if the last few moments hadn't happened and...

Shit, all was well again. Sam went back to his happy, safe place.

And whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a fucking minute here...what the hell just happened?!

Okay, as much as Sam hated to admit this to anyone, least of all himself, maybe he was being a tad... hormonal. But that could also be caused by a sickness. Or a tumor. Pregnancy was still very much out of the question.

Bruce finally reentered the room with the ultrasound machine, "What the hell happened guys? I leave the room for a few moments and all I hear is chaos."

"Sam had a bit of a breakdown but he's fine now." Nat said.

Sam wasn't even angry with her. Not just because what she said was so true he couldn't even deny it, but because they were approaching the moment of truth.

What if Bruce was right? What if he does have a child growing inside of him? What the fuck would happen then?!

Bruce plugged in the machine and the screen came to life. He tapped some things on the screen, then turned to Sam, "Alright Sammy, lie back and lift your shirt."

Thor and Steve had released him but they were right by his side. And shit, Sam was shaking.

Steve felt his tremble and rubbed his back, "Hey, it'll be alright baby."

Sam didn't know about that but he decided to take comfort in his boyfriend's words. He needed something to help him keep his sanity.

The rest of the team huddled around as Sam lied back as Bruce told him, raising his shirt. Everyone seemed stuck between wonderment, fear, confusion, and awe.

Bruce spread some clear gel on Sam's stomach and grabbed the wand, running it over Sam's stomach.

Sam's entire world screeched to a halt because on the screen was a tiny little being.

Sam couldn't even comprehend it. The proof was staring him in the face yet it was like he was blind.

It really wasn't fat. He wasn't having mood swings because of a tumor. He wasn't nauseous because if a lingering cold. And he was always hungry because he'd randomly turned into a stress eater.

All his excuses we're dashed because he really was fucking pregnant.

"Oh my God!" Steve said, holding Sam's hand. "Oh my God, look at her!"

"Him." Sam said, his mouth speaking before he even realized that's what he was doing.

"I agree. It's obviously a boy." Tony said. He had inched closer to the screen, his head was damn near in the way until Bruce pulled him back.

"I'm calling girl." Natasha said.

Clint shook his head. "I'm betting on a boy. I have two of them. I know a prenatal boy when I see one."

"What say you, Bruce?" Tony said. "Girl or boy?"

Bruce shrugged, "We won't be able to tell until the next couple of months but I'll go with girl. We have too much testosterone around here."

For all the frustration he just held at this very family, Sam was so fucking glad they were treating it normally. He didn't know what the hell to do with this fucked up shit and everyone being calm and accepting help him stay grounded.

"There are two doses of male genes. It's definitely a boy." Sam managed to say, though he still wasn't there. His mind was way at the known and unknown.

"Girl, obviously. Look at how femininely strong she is." Thor said.

Sam couldn't even get that far. He was still trying to comprehend how the fuck that bitty baby got inside of him and grew this much.

Fuck, the baby had arms and legs and a head, fingers, toes, everything. Every once in a while, the baby, would open and close his tiny, wittle fist.

And the more Sam looked at his baby, the more he realized how real this was. Until it hit. This baby was his! This perfect little being belonged to him.

And...and Sam was being to fully realize how he wouldn't change this for the world.

"I'm not trying to ruin the mood or anything," Rhodey said, quite effectively ruining the mood, "but how the hell did my little brother get pregnant. Sam I thought you had a penis. I've seen it! Or did I just dream that up?" Sam looked at his brother. He's never seen Rhodey looking so lost. Kind of how Sam looked when Bruce first told him he was pregnant.

"No, he definitely still has a penis." Steve said and Rhodey groaned, holding up a hand at Steve.

Sam sort of snapped back. He still wanted this baby more than anything in the world but that, how the hell did he (a grown man) get knocked up was a very important question.

And, shit, could it happen again?!

"I'm going to run some more tests to see if I can figure it out because he's definitely not intersexed. Or at least he wasnt." Bruce said.

"I'm not intersexed!" Sam said but then remembered the baby taking up residence in his stomach...shit, maybe he was and it has just gone unnoticed all these years.

"But now that I'm thinking about it," Tony said "who's going to tell Fury?"

Sam slumped back as if the weight of the whole world had suddenly fallen on him.

How in the living, cow hunting, toe fucking, leprechaun shitting hell was he going to tell his dad he was pregnant?!?!

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed it. :D
> 
> Please leave feedback and feel free to criticize; I am always looking for opportunities to grow.  
> I’ve launched an E-Zine where people submit their favorite fics and the best ones get published in the zine. I’m doing this because I want to create something that acknowledges fanfic writers and makes them feel confident about themselves while bringing people of different fandoms together. To submit your favorite fics, go [Here](https://goo.gl/forms/h0LI8s7WGgZV2gBl1)


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